Pity Parties

I am a firm believer in pity parties.  I don't throw them often.  Maybe 2-3 times a year.  But when I do, they are wild, fantastic blowouts.  I had one this week.  When my son and daughter-in-law left after 10 wonderful days, I was devastated.  It hit me so hard.  I returned from the airport after dropping them off and just couldn't shake my loss.  I knew it was time for a pity party.  I put on comfortable clothes, got in bed propped up with soft comfortable pillows and my cutie pie dogs nearby.  I wept and wept and didn't even bother aiming my tissues at the wastebasket. " Poor me, woe is me."  How will I get on with the two of them in NYC?  It seems an eternity away.  When I was cried out, (it only took about an hour), I was wore out.  I picked up my Kindle and started to read, and within minutes I was asleep. I slept for three hours.  It was a good sound sleep.  I decided I needed to wallow in pity for the rest of the day.  I got up and made a giant bowl of American Dream Cone (Ben and Jerry's) and ate it in bed. I read my email - in bed, I wrote one to my dearest friend telling her of my plight - in bed and I read some more - in bed, you get the idea.  I pouted, whined, pulled the covers up over my head.  Finally I showered, put my PJs on and went to bed.  Slept for 12 hours and awaken with new hope.

NYC couldn't really be that far.  I would just have to go see for myself sooner rather than later as I had planned.  Chris is still nearby and we have fun together. Just like the summer after Tom died and both boys went off to college, I knew I had choice.  I could still be miserable or I could create some happiness for myself.  I had my art, my work, my family, my lovely simplified home. It's time to start making some friends.  Get back into the swing of things.

That's the great thing about a big, all out pity party.  You get things out of your system, all the tears, the exhaustion, the hunger.  It's like taking care of HALT all in one day.  Hunger, Anger, Lonely, Tired.  And once those things are taken care of, hope floats to the surface.  It's like making it though a long dark night and seeing the first rays of sunlight.  A new day. 

The Perfect Place for a Pity Party

The key to a good pity party is to never chastise yourself for feeling bad, sad, lonely, angry, in pain. Just feel every feeling that surfaces.  Dig down deep for the ones that are buried.  Swim in it. Just don't beat yourself up for doing it.  Those feelings are all yours, let them out, let them free.