tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78378564251101549902024-03-18T20:42:20.785-06:00Widow Gone WildMusings on age, art and death. As a geriatrician, artist and widow, I have opinions on all of these. Family, dogs, solitude and God are my daily reasons for being.
As I age, I experience the need for simplicity, paring down, daily silence and artistic expression. Narrowing my focus to things that make me happiest is my quest. No bucket list for me, I live with no regrets. Rather choosing a few things in life that will help me be joyful is my goal.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-7836205925377020432012-09-23T11:45:00.004-06:002012-09-23T11:45:47.642-06:00How I went from Big to smallPurses seem to be all the rage these days. Big leather purses especially. Big heavy designer purses. Big heavy expensive leather designer purses. Who pays in excess of $500 for a purse? Seems every ladies magazine promotes one. They are heavy even when empty. I don't know too many people who buy these, every now and then a friend finds one on sale and if that makes your day, that's great. My bigger concern is how heavy they are. And because we are women, because they are big, we are good at filling them up. Oh, our poor shoulders!<br />
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I have spent my life looking for lightweight big purses. I don't like spending much on a purse because I am really hard on purses. I am lucky if they last me a season. And since I have myofacial pain in my shoulders, I try to buy a lightweight purses and not fill it up too much. But ever since I had children, my motto has been, "be prepared", so I pack everything but the kitchen sink. Of course, my sons are in their 20s now, so I rarely need a tissue or bandaid or toy or candy.....<br />
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The last purse I thought was going to be a great success, was from Kohl's for $20. It seemed lightweight empty. It had an outside pocket and numerous inside pockets. And yet it was heavy all the time and I could never find what I was looking for. <br />
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This is what I carried with me for work.<br />
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I failed to include in this picture a notebook, pen, pill case, journal articles and work I brought home. </div>
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I never wanted to be without something to read so I carried a book and a magazine. My wallet was always filled with every loyalty card imaginable, numerous credit cards, cash and discount cards. It was heavy, clumsy, always falling over. </div>
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This summer, realizing that my shoulder was killing me, I knew I had to do something different. When I was on vacation for my son's wedding, I didn't carry much at all. What made that lifestyle different from my work life? </div>
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I decided to trim down to just my essentials. Then I took a small wristlet I had purchased for vacation and decided to try that for a while. Here is what I came up with. </div>
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And here is what I carry.</div>
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I have a key case that carries my license and debit card and a few emergency dollars. I can leave the house with just that; to run to the store, for example. In my wristlet, I carry my phone, my glasses, lipstick (moisturizing so I don't need chapstick), a few pills in a tiny ziplock that a button came in with a new outfit, face blotters for my constantly oily skin, breath freshener strips, and a small case for cash, a couple of business cards, and my library card. It has worked perfectly all summer long. Do I need my loyalty cards? Most I can just give my phone number at check out. Others, I keep in the car. I have, in fact, turned my car into my "purse". I cleared out the console in the car and put in a cube box of tissues, a small cosmetic case with handy wipes, lens cleaner, Biofreeze individual packets, a small pill container with a few common meds, and a business card holder with my loyalty cards. For work, I have added a small 5'x5" lidded box with extra things I might need seeing patients, like an otoscope, extra tongue depressors. Since I drive to different nursing homes, my little stash comes in handy. </div>
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This wristlet is my absolute favorite thing. It comes from an Etsy shop called Heart2Handbags. They are handmade by Amy in Waupaun, Wisconsin. <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/Heart2Handbags?ref=seller_info">http://www.etsy.com/shop/Heart2Handbags?ref=seller_info</a> is the link to her shop. She also makes purses, key fobs, lanyards, ebook/ipad sleeves and aprons. Everything is reasonably priced, the wristlets are only $16.00. I have 2 wristlets, a purse and a key fob. I have bought a wristlet for a gift also. I find the wristlets wash very well in the washing maching on a gentle setting and dry in the dryer without needing ironing. </div>
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These wristlets save me pain, and are lightweight and convenient. My key case has a clip on it so I clip it to my wristlet and have only one thing to carry. No more big clumsy purses for me. And I owe it all to Amy! </div>
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Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-1747391481045759822012-09-23T11:45:00.002-06:002012-09-23T11:45:28.674-06:00Finding the right path
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I awake each morning and try to find a path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems each morning I re-invent
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the summer I would awake
leisurely and read and think and contemplate God and try to be thankful for the
day to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once up, I got going on
whatever it was I wanted to do, even if it was as simple as going to the
pool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that I am back to work, the only way I can function is
to get up without thinking and put myself on automatic to do the morning ritual
of ablations and costuming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feed the
pups and myself, check email, make sure my patient list is up to date, take
care of little details and make a K-cup of a sweet beverage for the road. I put
on my happy face and go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every day I am pretty much the same person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But every day I feel I am on a new path for
some reason. Perhaps because I never know what I am going to encounter during
the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There always seem to be detours
thrown in my otherwise straight path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Interruptions, inconveniences, delays about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These surprises are rarely the fun kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Somehow during this summer of leisure, though I never mastered
meditating, I did learn how to live each moment and take one day at a
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess instead of trying to live
my grand plan I think I have designed for myself, I allow the day to
unfold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do one thing at a time and do
it the best I can and then move on. I try not to judge it or myself, I try to
just play the doctor role. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I guess that is why I feel each morning is a blank slate and
why I feel the need to find the path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
need only define myself as a daughter of God, held and loved by God,
strengthened and supported by God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Letting go of a grand plan and following a new path each day is quite
hard for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But trying daily to create
my grand plan hasn’t worked for me in the past, so allowing the unknown in to
surprise me, might just be the way to peace and happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am happy so far with my new career. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Think less, be more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Judge less, experience more. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can feel my shoulders relax just knowing this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thanks be to the good and gracious God.</span></div>
Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-36343659356117792292012-08-09T13:58:00.000-06:002012-08-19T14:23:10.177-06:00Pity PartiesI am a firm believer in pity parties. I don't throw them often. Maybe 2-3 times a year. But when I do, they are wild, fantastic blowouts. I had one this week. When my son and daughter-in-law left after 10 wonderful days, I was devastated. It hit me so hard. I returned from the airport after dropping them off and just couldn't shake my loss. I knew it was time for a pity party. I put on comfortable clothes, got in bed propped up with soft comfortable pillows and my cutie pie dogs nearby. I wept and wept and didn't even bother aiming my tissues at the wastebasket. " Poor me, woe is me." How will I get on with the two of them in NYC? It seems an eternity away. When I was cried out, (it only took about an hour), I was wore out. I picked up my Kindle and started to read, and within minutes I was asleep. I slept for three hours. It was a good sound sleep. I decided I needed to wallow in pity for the rest of the day. I got up and made a giant bowl of American Dream Cone (Ben and Jerry's) and ate it in bed. I read my email - in bed, I wrote one to my dearest friend telling her of my plight - in bed and I read some more - in bed, you get the idea. I pouted, whined, pulled the covers up over my head. Finally I showered, put my PJs on and went to bed. Slept for 12 hours and awaken with new hope. <br />
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NYC couldn't really be that far. I would just have to go see for myself sooner rather than later as I had planned. Chris is still nearby and we have fun together. Just like the summer after Tom died and both boys went off to college, I knew I had choice. I could still be miserable or I could create some happiness for myself. I had my art, my work, my family, my lovely simplified home. It's time to start making some friends. Get back into the swing of things. <br />
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That's the great thing about a big, all out pity party. You get things out of your system, all the tears, the exhaustion, the hunger. It's like taking care of HALT all in one day. Hunger, Anger, Lonely, Tired. And once those things are taken care of, hope floats to the surface. It's like making it though a long dark night and seeing the first rays of sunlight. A new day. <br />
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The Perfect Place for a Pity Party</div>
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The key to a good pity party is to never chastise yourself for feeling bad, sad, lonely, angry, in pain. Just feel every feeling that surfaces. Dig down deep for the ones that are buried. Swim in it. Just don't beat yourself up for doing it. Those feelings are all yours, let them out, let them free. </div>
Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-70505707715963274092012-08-07T12:09:00.000-06:002012-08-17T12:10:12.461-06:00Inner Happiness<br />" If you can sit by yourself, doing nothing to distract yourself, needing no one, and still feel happy, then you have achieved inner happiness." Deepak Chopra<br />
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This summer I have been thinking a great deal about happiness. Having three months off all to myself has been an experience I will always treasure. I have had a chance to heal my physical pain, rest, restore, celebrate family, create art, write and explore. I have been very happy. Yet some days joy has eluded me. Lately I have been trying to explore what happiness, joy, or bliss, is. How can I have so much, yet feel a void? How can I feel unfulfilled?<br />
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One reason is my chronic pain. Sometimes pain and fatigue reduce me to nothing. I put on a happy face, partly because no one wants to hear me complain and partly because putting on a smile does make me feel better. But as I approach returning to work, I knew I had to come up with more than putting on a smile. There must be a place of deep joy somewhere. I have known it before. <br />
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Then two things happened. I went back to physical therapy and a marvelous and talented young therapist, Kari Ell, manipulated my neck and spine to the point where I could once again stand up straight and my pain started to decrease and my fatigue lessened. It was then I realized how much my pain was affecting my mood. Joy started to surface. <br />
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The other is that I began exploring meditation as a mind body connection. I have tried meditation, or rather, contemplation as a way of prayer before, never with much sustained effect. Lately I kept asking God to help me. God seemed very distant. Then I came across the works of Jon Kabot-Zinn and found some guided audio meditations online. Simple to use, brief and easy to focus on, I began to fine peace in my soul. This kind of peace is joy to me. I used to chastise myself for not having a daily meditation practice. I would like to do it daily but I find it hard to make the time. But this week when I tried meditation again, I found the practice could sustain me for a couple of days. I found God answering my plea. It didn't come in words or an outright miracle. Instead God led me to a place of silence, of breath. <br />
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It used to be that if I needed to talk to God the most effective way for me to express myself and find clarity, was journaling. But I am being led to a place without words. I am still putting up a bit of resistance, but I am allowing myself to be led. <br />
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As for the quote by Deepak Chopra above, I am happy sitting by myself, but that is more a part of my introvertness, than it is of inner peace. I am discovering a new place within myself that brings sustaining joy. I am learning to live in my heart. <br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.oprah.com/spirit/7-New-Ways-to-Be-Happy/2#ixzz23pKZsAO7" style="color: #003399;">http://www.oprah.com/spirit/7-New-Ways-to-Be-Happy/2#ixzz23pKZsAO7</a>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-4663994586974606712012-08-06T23:48:00.000-06:002012-08-17T23:49:08.174-06:00A Marvelous Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What a joy to have family home. The newlyweds were here for a week and Chris was home for two days. What a delight to have everyone home, however brief. Andrew cleaned a space in the backyard and planted some ground cover for me. We crammed so much in to a week's time. We went to VooDoo Comedy Club, Canvas and Cocktails, movies, lunches, Cherry Creek North, visited Nana and Papa and went swimming, had massages and talked and talked. When Andrew and Sabrina left I had major weepiness. But I snapped out of it in short order knowing I would see them soon. Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-61445591441941748522012-08-02T14:51:00.002-06:002012-08-17T23:53:20.095-06:00Praise for Born SonLast evening I was delighted to attend a performance of Born Son, the improv team of Asa Erlendson and Kent Wellborn at the Voodoo Comedy Playhouse, downtown Denver. I had a great time watching Asa, whom I have know for nine years, perform his quick thinking, quick witted improvisational humor. Asa has chosen to make a career out of comedy and is currently performing in clubs in Denver. <br />
Born son started the show by asking the audience for a word that described their year so far. "Dreadful" was the first word called out and they began the skit with a man afraid of heights. It was very funny. For each subsequent skit, they had an audience member throw a ball at them when they wanted the team to change to a new subject. The sketches went from teenagers trying to write a book but fighting over who was more awesome to young romantics going on a picnic. Asa and Stu were quick to pick up on each others signals and nuances to create a funny story. As with all improv, some of the flubs were the funniest part. <br />
Another part of the "Show Show" featured a female comedy team called "All of the Above". They were very funny too. They started with asking for an item two friends might talk about and "shoes" was called out. Then they asked for an age, and each subsequent act came about with a new age group being shouted out. I liked the duo very much and would enjoy seeing them again. <br />
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I would definitely go to the Voodoo Comedy club again. Their roster features and ever changing group of comedians and improv artists. Keep an eye on Asa and Kent, I know they has a great future. It felt good to laugh all evening!Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-24501391698473391332012-07-31T09:56:00.002-06:002012-07-31T09:56:55.328-06:00SimpleI have been spending a bit of time reading about minimalism and simplicity. It started years ago when I discovered the minimalist movement in design. The clean lines, lack of clutter and utter simplicity in home design. I loved it immediately even though it was not something I could embrace wholely for my own home. I like the occasional beautiful thing on my wall or table. But I did get rid of meaningless knick knacks and stuff. I started keeping only items of beauty and meaning. My home has artful pieces and gifts that express me. <br />
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This summer I discovered several really great blogs that speak to minimalism. These folks take simplicity in living to the extreme. They rarely consume, have rid their homes of stuff, enjoy what they have, are grateful, forgiving and happy. I took the opportunity during my time off this summer to begin to embrace this concept more wholeheartedly. I cleaned out every drawer, closet, room. I got rid of many bags of non-necessities. I organized my craft room so that it is functional and streamlined. And I vow to keep it organized and clean. My table tops have fewer things on them, but the items present are ones I love. If I don't love it, it goes. And I don't bring in anything I don't love. <br />
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The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus have taken it to the extreme, in that Joshua has pared down his belongings to 123 items. I don't have that as a goal, but I do like the idea of knowing what you possess and appreciating whether you need it in your life. Perhaps it is a gender thing, but I love color and art too much to live such a spare and sparse life. But these guys have unplugged, under-consumed, un-desired and unattached themselves so that they really enjoy their freedom and living. <br />
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I like the idea of simplicity because it was what Jesus preached. I always struggled with the rich young man that Jesus asked to give up his things. I couldn't understand how Jesus could ask the apostles to go out preaching without extra sandals or money. And I still struggle with that kind of absolute trust. <br />
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The past 30 years I have experienced a paring down of my life. Like the layers of an onion being peeled away, till I discover my soul. I have sought simplicity and humility in my work. I have sought truth in my introvertness by eliminating engagements that exhaust me. I have learned to live with pain by pacing myself so that I don't overdo it. I had my spouse taken away so that my contentment can only come from within. My children have grown and moved away so that I can't rely on them for fulfillment and satisfaction. <br />
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Some paring down is painful. Some of it is joyful as I discover my true self. It is an interesting process. I don't know where it is leading other than to hopefully live more fully the gospel life. <br />
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Thank you God for opening my eyes to a simpler life.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-995967842411703782012-07-30T13:24:00.002-06:002012-07-30T13:24:34.408-06:00I quit my job.June 12 will go down in history for me. It is the day I quit my job. I loved my patients and nurses but the structure, leadership, volume and hours were ridiculous. I didn't intend to quit, but my superior pushed me to my limit and I just quit. <br />
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I have never been happier. I didn't know I had it in me to quit. I didn't know I was so gutsy or courageous. <br />
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It wasn't the best time to quit. I didn't have another job out there in the wings waiting for me. I didn't have a lot of money saved up to get by on. But I knew it was the right thing to do and I did it. I was stressed out, sick, in pain and fatigued. I was sad, frustrated and alone. <br />
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For the past six weeks I have been in heaven. No goals. No specific plans. No schedule. I am living very cheaply. In fact, I discovered many "minimalist" blogs and books and am trying to live that kind of life. This experience will change the way I live my life from now on. There is so much I can live without. I love having time. Time is worth so much more than things. I have rest. My body doesn't hurt as much. I have quiet. No people around to have to chat with. I have my art. I have started creating things. I hope to create enough art to sell them on Etsy. If not, no big deal. <br />
<br />
Lest, I kid myself, I do have to go back to work, soon rather than late. And I will, because I have been offered another, hopefully saner, job. This experience, my sabbatical, as I call it, will alter my life and my perspective forever. I won't let a job beat me down so much in the future. I will only work at a job I can pace myself. I will be more peaceful.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-8355191099389041502012-07-16T17:51:00.002-06:002012-07-16T17:51:48.362-06:00Best Massage Therapist in DenverI just came back from a most marvelous massage. I normally go every two weeks, to satisfy the painful yearnings of my chronic myofacial pain. But with summer and travel I did not get to go two weeks ago, so it has now been a month. I want to tell you that Avi Penhollow who owns Divinity Massage is the best massage therapist I have ever been to. Not only in Denver, but in the whole United States. I have been to lots of therapists in Denver and many at spas while traveling, but Avi is by far the best. He seems to have a sixth sense as to what your body needs and where you are hurting. His touch can be very intense when working out a trigger point or very gentle around delicate areas like feet and scalp. <br />
<br />
Since it has been a month, and my shoulders, neck and head were screaming, he calmed all those areas down and then worked on my back which he found very tightly contracted, even though there wasn't much pain there. When he finished, I felt so much better immediately. And I felt better all over, I could walk straighter, breathe easier, and relax my muscles. Avi has such a healing intent when he works with you. I certainly won't let 2 weeks pass without a massage again. It keeps me functioning. You can find Avi at <a href="http://www.divinitymassage.com/">www.divinitymassage.com</a>.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-71017003465940420292012-07-08T22:24:00.000-06:002012-07-16T18:17:45.270-06:00I had such a lovely morning. I walked over to Caribou Coffee with Rascal, found a cool, shady spot to sit on their patio and ordered a large iced mocha and an apple fritter (since they were out of my most favorite treat, the french toast muffin). I picked up a weekend Wall Street Journal and spent the next two and a half hours enjoying the quiet time to read the paper from cover to cover. I don't know much about the financial ways of the world, but I do enjoy many of the articles in this paper. The best sections are "Off Duty" and "Review". Off Duty is clearly for the rich and famous, those hedge fund brokers and their trophy wives who just don't know how to spend their money. The articles are outrageously preposterous in the material things they put on display. I just have to wonder who thinks they need a $3200 scarf or $998 cotton blouse. All the clothing and couture designers are featured at some point or other. I truly do not get those prices! Even if one could aford it, why would a person waste that kind of money on clothes. Even if it is fabulously made from the finest fabrics, how many wears are you conceivably going to get out of it. I would likely get bored of it before it wore out. And as far as fancy clothes go, most women I know, don't re-wear evening gowns and party dresses that often. <br />
<br />
I will say that I bought a fairly expensive dress made by the designer Teri Jon for Andrew and Sabrina's wedding. My main goal in finding a dress was that it fit well. I was willing to spend whatever it took, (within reason) to find a well fitting dress. The second dress I tried on was IT. Those of you who know me, know I never pay retail. But this was an exception to my rule. I did manange to save $60 by ordering it directly from the designer instead of the retail shop. Did it ultimately make a difference? I have to say yes. The fabric was just sublime. It flowed around me like clouds. It fit to a T, and wan't uncomfortable at all. It seemed to make me stand up straighter, walk more erectly, and be confident. For that one day, I felt almost regal. Do I need all my clothes to be this wonderful? Definitely no. I have lots of dresses I purchased on sale that make me feel wonderful and that have lasted a long time. If I could afford it would I buy more clothes from Teri Jon or other designers? Maybe, but only on sale. Besides, I'd constantly be worrying that I would spill something on them, which would make me enjoy them less. <br />
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Anyway, back to my Caribou morning. I read the rest of the Review section, checking out books, movies, commentary and new ideas. I had nowhere else to be that day and I savored every moment of my time at the coffee shop. When I finally finished, I walked back home relaxed and ready to start working on my art room. <br />
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I don't know why I don't treat myself to an outing like that more often. I seem to wait until I think I deserve it for some reason. That's another whole story, but for today, that extra special morning gave me a lovely memory to linger on.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFOyu9xpuXioLziyn1JZnTTczd2POBHdCDq8fAF1H521nmWzR7C22GYuuA6cypzj_ssH6JF2ZTM-dXhUSNGlw6xSw2wdgtg5M3VzuSNoPJRuKjhv1Sx0cbTAgGjRRmpy-Kbcn2oEMkp9I/s1600/DSC02860.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFOyu9xpuXioLziyn1JZnTTczd2POBHdCDq8fAF1H521nmWzR7C22GYuuA6cypzj_ssH6JF2ZTM-dXhUSNGlw6xSw2wdgtg5M3VzuSNoPJRuKjhv1Sx0cbTAgGjRRmpy-Kbcn2oEMkp9I/s320/DSC02860.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-81225223956510407482012-07-07T23:02:00.002-06:002012-07-07T23:02:31.010-06:00Here I go again.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnjLUzoUGgfQTLC6GEidB8B_veFJNxIgypyskEjEBlVTjB0eMmdsDwZbVuT64G3LLFqiIzQ00hl58AAyz1yA4PC6BdDoPEhsQ7ZoT3vRVUP9YSkhr80e9p1dPKlG33igCoiCg59fsgbw/s1600/rehearsal+sunflower+056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidnjLUzoUGgfQTLC6GEidB8B_veFJNxIgypyskEjEBlVTjB0eMmdsDwZbVuT64G3LLFqiIzQ00hl58AAyz1yA4PC6BdDoPEhsQ7ZoT3vRVUP9YSkhr80e9p1dPKlG33igCoiCg59fsgbw/s400/rehearsal+sunflower+056.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought this was a weed in my yard, and even though I tried to kill it, it bloomed into this sunflower. Talk about hope.</td></tr>
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I'm back. I have been gone a long time. Too long. Too busy. Too cluttered of mind. On my walk today, I decided I would try it again. I do have things I want to say. Issues I want to explore. Ideas I want to try out. I will continue to write under a pen name, so that certain individuals won't find me. Most of what I say will be true, though I am honest in my telling it. My perspective has changed somewhat since I started the blog. Only because I have lived through my grief and am back on the life track. So stay tune for new musings and stories. I hope you enjoy.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-55013364505396618622011-02-06T11:54:00.000-07:002011-02-06T11:54:23.727-07:00Happy February - a tech free holidayThere have been numerous articles lately about going tech free for a day, week, or more. I had a forced tech free state for the past month. My cable went out mid January which meant no internet and after waiting a week for a repairman appt., the kind man fixed the problem. The very next day my computer went up in flames. Not only that, but my computer at work, as well as my monitor, and two printers all broke. There is was relying on my blackberry for email. It's not much use for web browsing because the screen is so small. And forget about working on this blog. I have an old laptop of Tom's that I got up and going but it is painfully slow so only used it for work. I couldn't get Netflix instant movies or Vudu because I relied on WiFi which I wasn't getting when the cable went out. Ah the angst of waiting for a movie to come in the mail. <br />
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So did I enjoy being tech free. Not really. Since I don't spend my life on the computer anyway, I found it a huge inconvenience. Having technology available is a luxury to me, an easier, faster way of doing things. A time saver when it comes to bill paying and ordering products I would normally have to go shopping for, like personal hygiene items from Amazon and drugstore.com. I also bought the new printers, computers and monitor online. And they appeared at my doorstep a few days after ordering them. I rely on the invisible to get entertainment, though the magical cordless WiFi which I have no idea how it works. And if I develop a curiosity about say, decoupaging or where salt comes from, I have an answer in minutes. <br />
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I do go tech free on vacation. I only access the world wide web to stay in touch with my office. Since I do not have anyone to cover for me, I have to be accessible to my patients. Email and electronic prescribing work great. <br />
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So, sorry if you missed me the last month. My luxuries were not available to me.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-45637255658138139632011-01-09T11:21:00.000-07:002011-01-09T11:21:42.944-07:00On MeditationStarting out the new year with a resolution to work on meditating, which hasn't been going so well, I fell upon a lovely book called, Into the Silent Land: a Guide to Christian Contemplation by Martin Laird. I prefer the term contemplation to meditation. I gives me something to grasp on to. While meditation to me means moving in nothingness, contemplation describes silently living with a focus, in my case, God. <br />
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Laird says we are built for contemplation, like a flower is meant to bloom. It is not a spiritual technique but rather something we till, a skill of interior silence. This requires both stillness and awareness. Awareness I have been developing for years. This stepping back and taking in, observing rather than speaking or doing. It makes me a better diagnostician and parent, friend and daughter. <br />
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Contemplation is something I can imagine. My image comes from the picture I have of Tom in heaven. I see him sitting at the feet of God, resting against Jesus, experiencing full joy in the love of God, the tenderness of Jesus. Giving and receiving pure love, nothing blocking it, like sin or ego, because there has already been forgiveness and there can be no more sin. Tom's being existing only in the simplest creation of God, soul. <br />
That vision, gives me a sense that I can experience that on earth through contemplation. I desire nothing more of contemplation, not relaxation, stress reduction, or ease of life. Contemplation exists, for me, only for the experience of loving God and being loved. <br />
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Nearly 20 years ago I was attending a Geriatrics convention, when, one afternoon, alone in my hotel room feeling lost and lonely, I felt a need to define my Mission. What evolved that afternoon was " I am a daughter of God, made to receive and give love". That statement has carried me through many a difficult time and decision. And at my life at it's very simplest, is all I have and ask for. So contemplation, communing with God in love is a practice I long for. <br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Why is it so difficult to practice Contemplation with God? I think because God's image is so elusive. Last evening, after viewing the movie <u>The Tourist</u> I had no difficulty contemplating Johnny Depp. Those eyes, those lips, the smile that holds back. Perhaps it is because I rely so much on the visual that I have such a difficult time contemplating God. So hopefully Martin Laird will guide me. However, as we all know, no author or book can guide us if we don't practice. To fulfill my resolution I need to set a time each day to practice. There is my challenge. </div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A must see. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-6004587194673489112011-01-05T09:07:00.003-07:002011-01-09T11:22:17.642-07:00Nothing More JanuaryHappy First Week Of January,<br />
<br />
I just read a little blurb that I think came from Southern Living (because my soul belongs in the South), called Nothing More January. Following expensive December and the over indulgence of Christmas, can there really be anything more we need or want. So the author advises no buying, except for necessities, in January. <br />
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It's only 31 days, how hard can that be? Well, I made it two days into January and bought a $20 ring. Not so bad, but in only 5 days I can think of several things that I would like to get. Little things I didn't get for Christmas. But do I really need them? I am sure I can live without them. But I am so tempted. <br />
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But I am also tempted by the idea of starting out the new year with extra money in my savings. When after Christmas sales prevail, it is enticing to get "a bargain". But it is also rewarding to step back and analyze if the item is really worth it. Sometimes I make a decision by asking myself if, on my death bed, I will really be glad I bought it. <br />
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It is also wise to separate necessity from desire. I have often put off buying things like socks and underwear, even when mine are threadbare because I viewed them as a luxury. I don't know where I got this bizarre notion, surely in my childhood, but it's ridiculous. Sometimes I just have to step back and laugh. <br />
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So here's to the challenge. <br />
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I did think of a few more resolutions. <br />
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1. Really part a. of # 5 from the last blog. Be on time at the office. January 3 and I already failed that one. I need to be on a schedule, because I helps my pain. Early to be, early to rise..... So since everyday is a new start, I successfully made it on time yesterday. I just need to focus and be well rested. Which means I have almost no social life, but I am an introvert anyway, no big deal. <br />
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2. Take up drinking. I am seriously trying to be less of a bore. I never drank in high school, college, or ever for that matter. Tom called me a cheap date. But on vacation last summer, when the owner of that French restaurant gave me a bit of dessert sherry, I realized it actually tasted good. What an adult and luxurious thing to do. So I am working my way up from dessert wine, to something a bit more substantial. I bought an airplane size bottle of cognac and put about a T. in my eggnog this year and it really added flavor. Of course I could have gotten the same effect from rum extract I suppose, but it was fun. I am probably the only person who got 8 servings out of that airplane size bottle. I do not like wine, unless it is very sweet. <br />
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I had the opportunity to go to a bar with Andrew in Las Vegas. I felt so grown up. It was after dinner so I had a Bailey's Irish Cream on the rocks. It was lovely just to sit there and sip that with my elder son. It was such a relaxed setting and we could just sit and talk. Such a rare opportunity. <br />
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So now I am planning to by a bottle of something a month. Mostly creamy drinks. The boys gave me a martini shaker and a book called <u>500 Cocktails.</u> So the adventure begins. Let me know if you want to go to an early bird dinner and have a drink afterwards so I can be home by 8pm and get to bed so I can be on time for work in the morning.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-62858327081107215142011-01-02T14:48:00.002-07:002011-01-05T09:07:59.935-07:00ResolvingHello on the 2nd day of January. I am hoping the snow will start to melt today. It was pretty but it's time for it to go. <br />
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It's nice having the day after New Year's off. I stayed in bed till noon reading. That to me is the ultimate luxury. I am reading <u>Pictures of You</u> by Carlokine Leavitt. So far, I can recommend it, if you like reading about death and grieving. I also enjoy mental health related fiction and psychological suspense. Memoir is good, too. <br />
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Since I forgot to give you my list for the best books of 2010 (that I have read), here it is.<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">BEST BOOKS OF 2010</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Seventeen Second Miracle Jason F. Wright</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Saints and Sinners of Okay County Dayna Dunbar</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Flowers for Elvis Julia Schuster</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The One Hundred Foot Journey Richard Morais</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beautiful Maria of My Soul Oscar Hijuelos</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Madonnas of Echo Park Brando Skyhorse</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Tattoos on the Heart Gregory Boyle, SJ**</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Cutting for Stone Abraham Verghese</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Murderer’s Daughters Randy Susan Meyers</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Weight of Silence Heather Gudenkauf</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">A Reliable Wife Robert Goolrick</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The Clothes on Their Backs Linda Grant</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Someone Will Be With You Shortly Lisa Koogan</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">** must read</span><br />
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Actually I didn't get to read much last year. With moving the office and my home and a bit of traveling, I didn't have much time. <br />
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Which brings me to resolutions. I have made a few and you can hold me accountable if you like. <br />
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I RESOLVE:<br />
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1. To Read Regularly - nothing is more off putting than not finding a good book or starting one you think is going to be good and find it isn't. It is also difficult to start another book after finishing an especially excellent one. And when I can't find one, I tend to waste time. So this year, I promise to not get discouraged and to keep on track and explore books till I find the right one. Because reading brings me joy and when I am not reading and I piddle around I get irritable and I don't like me that way. So far I have a good start. <br />
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2. Be Creative - I FINALLY have my craft room ready to go. It was the last room to get organized and at last it is. I would like to have a bigger table, but I can make do for now. I will still be making cards, but mostly I will be sending them to organizations who distribute them to veterans, active military and nursing homes etc. I want to branch out into collage, and making little boxes of amusement and who knows what else. There are tons of good ideas in the magazines <em>Memories, Apprentice, </em>and<em> Cloth Paper Scissors. </em>I have stacks of them ready and waiting for me. <br />
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3. Try To Be A Neighbor - I am not even hoping to be a good neighbor, but I would like to know the people who live near me. I usually never care who I live next to. Rarely remember their names. I work so much and stay inside all the time that it hardly comes up. But this year I am going to make an effort. I already know my neighbors to the south (because they initiated it) and have waved to two others. <br />
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4. Sail On An Even Keel - My emotional range is several octaves. It can change within minutes or hours. The reason is partly due to the fatigue I experience with Fibromyalgia. I can start out with a seemingly good day, pain around a 2, fair amount of energy, and it can quickly dissolve into extreme fatigue which makes me discouraged. Nobody usually knows this because I have learned the magic of a smile. I hate complaining. <br />
Other times, I feel like I am going to have miserable day and after my shower, I perk up and feel like doing something. So I am going to begin meditating and seeking serenity so my smile doesn't have to be fake some of the times. Pray for me in this endeavor.<br />
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5. Be Efficient at Work - I am really going to try to not let myself get behind at work any more. I have wonderful Avis, my medical assistant and now that I don't have to do two jobs any more, I should be able to do one job in the amount of time allotted. That way I won't be so exhausted, and I can function better and love my work more. Pacing oneself and keeping to a schedule are essential to anyone with Fibromyalgia, so I will have to get back to practicing what I preach. While my internal clock is set for noon to midnight, the world's clock is set for 8 to 5. So until I can retire, I will have to work at living the life I have been given.<br />
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Five resolutions is probably enough. I might think of more, but they will be minor ones. Let me know your take on resolutions. <br />
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Tomorrow, my theme for the year. <br />
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Blessings and peace for your hearts.<br />
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</span>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-54480418500495710092011-01-01T17:29:00.000-07:002011-01-01T17:29:44.418-07:00HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND IT IS A HAPPY ONE!Happy 2011 to all. There is nothing like the start of a new year. A clean slate. This year is like no other however. Andrew and Sabrina are engaged. Andrew surprised Sabrina at Midnight on New Years Eve, first by arriving back in Las Vegas 2 days earlier that she suspected, and second, by proposing to her at the stroke of midnight. I am the happiest mom on earth. I am so please for both of them. Andrew has found a beautiful, amazing, wonderful young woman and Sabrina has won the heart of a strong, authentic, funny and wise young man. They seem to be a match made in heaven. When I see the love in their eyes as they gaze at each other, it makes my heart so full. <br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Andrew was so sweet to call me at 12:37 am this morning. At a time when I thought the two of them would want privacy, they took time to call all of their family. That was a delight. I was honored to help him pick out the ring this week. No easy task I will warn you. Gone is the day when you can go to a jeweler and pick out a ring, have it sized and pick it up in a couple of days. Now they want you to pick out a setting, pick out a diamond, at truly rip off prices and then wait. Luckily we were able to find a family jeweler who worked with us in the few days we had and at a very reasonable price. It's a gorgeous ring. It's just a magical time. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvv_S5fLuR8ANVAaGXQ7GwIJvSYDYFLGCAoOHrOb1BdcGzSFMtF1FhJT-Lrw3WprfZwFPId9frxuRO6kIK5KC0FuV1wVChfKxJYBjQjClNl1aaUnw_MfcYMe7NmRq1uHZ2cHCvxcsiK9Y/s1600/engagement+ring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvv_S5fLuR8ANVAaGXQ7GwIJvSYDYFLGCAoOHrOb1BdcGzSFMtF1FhJT-Lrw3WprfZwFPId9frxuRO6kIK5KC0FuV1wVChfKxJYBjQjClNl1aaUnw_MfcYMe7NmRq1uHZ2cHCvxcsiK9Y/s1600/engagement+ring.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">I can't wait to see it on Sabrina's finger. God has blessed us all richly.</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Happy New Year.</div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-54013385143688843782010-12-31T18:53:00.000-07:002010-12-31T18:53:37.395-07:00Happy New Year's EveA New Year is about to begin. I find the counting down very exciting. Even though I never stay awake to midnight. Since I don't, I am amazed at awakening in a whole new year. 2011. We made it through the first decade of the new year. <br />
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When I have patients who lived during the first couple of decades of the 1900's, I always look at them with amazement. How does one capture the experience of living when work was hard and the rewards were simple? What do they think of the past 80-90 years? I love their stories. While I wouldn't have liked using an outhouse, I would have liked being free of cell phones and computers. I imagine decisions were simpler with fewer options available.<br />
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Assuming I live till 80, what will I be doing on 12.31.2045? What will have changed during those 35 years? How will I compare that to my childhood in the 1960's? Will things become simpler or more difficult?<br />
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Not to get maudlin, it's just that these concepts bring out the curiosity in me. The possibilities still seem endless. <br />
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Have you prepared your resolutions. I used to make lots of resolutions. I would work on them vigorously and tick them off my list. More recently, I create just a few general ones. Most of them come from my theme for the coming year. <br />
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2010's themes were "Fearlessness" and "Hope". I felt really hopeless last January. I found hope in moving my office and home,, decorating, planning and experiencing the new. My interests grew and I have something to look forward to, thanks be to God. I am Fearless, because since becoming a widow, I feel intrepid. I have a "don't mess with me attitude". My themes worked will for me. God guided me. <br />
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Tomorrow, I will share my theme(S) and resolutions. In the meantime, have a fantastic eve of the new year!Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-4202178704004309232010-12-24T11:38:00.000-07:002010-12-24T11:38:50.730-07:00Christmas is hereMerry Christmas Eve everyone!<br />
Are you doing last minute shopping, wrapping, preparing? Or are you preparing your heart to receive the infant Jesus? I often get so preoccupied with the former I forget to do the latter. I am happily off today, so I should have plenty of time to pray. As it is, I slept in, am still in my pjs, have been leisurely browsing the web, and am aghast at the things that still need wrapping. <br />
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I am starting with a sinus infection so I need to go to the pharmacy. That will require getting dressed. Such a decision. I wish I was one of those people who could just pop out of bed and get dressed and ready for their day. But I am sluggish and slow and seem to have to think about it for a long time. <br />
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Tonight Chris, my parents and I will be going to Mass at 5pm and then out to dinner at North, an Italian restaurant. I am really looking forward to that. A pleasant leisurely time with family. Andrew is still in Las Vegas with Sabrina and her family. Hope he has a wonderful and special time. My sons are such fine young men and their presence makes everything special. We will be excited to have Andrew home on Sunday. <br />
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Tomorrow will be quiet. I hope to start a new book, so a little bit of paper craft, watch some Christmas movies, and just relax. My ideal day. <br />
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I bought a spiral sliced ham from Target. It's supposed to be like Honey Baked Hams. Who New you had to bake it yourself and add the glaze. Oh well, for #13 what do you expect. I will do that today.<br />
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Whatever your plans are for today and tomorrow, I pray they are special, filled with love and a sense of humor. Delight in the baby Jesus and like his Mother Mary, "ponder all these things in your heart". <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDVC52wy6mpKS14arP5TvvdZsI0FIN-vOrOAB_cdzpO_yDS5PoZnpsuHiJOkSlzV-bLOW10RMXJIDvFlYOH1gHI2gki0-g_cdS3cKSsjeE5yBqaB1IAJHSp1Nzd4pFrgcQb0GYkNCvTL0/s1600/christmas+house+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDVC52wy6mpKS14arP5TvvdZsI0FIN-vOrOAB_cdzpO_yDS5PoZnpsuHiJOkSlzV-bLOW10RMXJIDvFlYOH1gHI2gki0-g_cdS3cKSsjeE5yBqaB1IAJHSp1Nzd4pFrgcQb0GYkNCvTL0/s320/christmas+house+003.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc8qYcUIRZJFW2IeLXKxlDcx64kIEkIOEyCsPStv17Hc3Lf-JLrzmgE1RVRsEs7rZQoitSVo9JEhJ3UPHlcgNN0UdJgSwCTfWUFcDFflRsfPHEk1GBy4qzRtCC27jIlyVCq9WPUddspyY/s1600/christmas+house+037.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc8qYcUIRZJFW2IeLXKxlDcx64kIEkIOEyCsPStv17Hc3Lf-JLrzmgE1RVRsEs7rZQoitSVo9JEhJ3UPHlcgNN0UdJgSwCTfWUFcDFflRsfPHEk1GBy4qzRtCC27jIlyVCq9WPUddspyY/s320/christmas+house+037.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDR511PqyCvufOYEwq6ClEHGrvMULQx1yYpI34ErsGuNl-UoxJB76sU4IKZ0pK0WFBHMF3TwHoE8gf4Nghp-Lg1Ktx-b28sUjJkPz9x8vj69rS36bivU3Iz3IAeywGOsTV9PBiptWVzM/s1600/christmas+house+008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDR511PqyCvufOYEwq6ClEHGrvMULQx1yYpI34ErsGuNl-UoxJB76sU4IKZ0pK0WFBHMF3TwHoE8gf4Nghp-Lg1Ktx-b28sUjJkPz9x8vj69rS36bivU3Iz3IAeywGOsTV9PBiptWVzM/s320/christmas+house+008.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-27797754763764269662010-12-18T16:41:00.001-07:002010-12-18T16:42:34.722-07:00That Christmas FeelingWell, only one week to go till Christmas. This year I have a few extra shopping days because Andrew is spending Christmas with his gorgeous girlfriend Sabrina and her family. Christmas Eve they will also be celebrating Sabrina's graduation from UNLV, which I was fortunate to attend last week. <br />
Andrew will come home for a week on December 26 and we will celebrate on the 29th, since that is my day off. <br />
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I am truly excited about this for two reasons. The first is that, while I do love celebrating Christmas, and presents and the meals, I feel it detracts from the true meaning of this most holy day. I would like to just celebrate Christmas as the day Jesus was born. I like to reflect on what that means for myself and the world. So this year I will have the chance to do that. <br />
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On Christmas Eve my parents, Chris and I will go to Mass followed by supper at North, and Italian restaurant. And the rest of the evening and following day will be fairly quiet. For those who know me you understand how much I love quiet. That will be a gift in it self. <br />
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Our exchange of presents will take place on the 29th, as I said. Instead of preparing a grand feast, we plan to order in pizza from Aurelio's, the best pizza in Denver. It will be a low key affair. If I could gather the family and get them to agree, I would hold the gift exchange on the feast of the Epiphany, but that is probably a stretch. <br />
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The second reason I am excited about our late Christmas celebration is that I can do my shopping <em>after </em>Christmas. I anticipate getting some real deals. I love saving money. Don't get me wrong, I do have most of the important items purchased. I mostly shop online. I have to for the weird things the boys want, like Rugby and Powerlifting paraphernalia. <br />
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Avoiding the Christas shopping rush will contribute to decreasing my stress during the holidays. I always find it so hectic to shop and wrap everything on time. I have already finished my Christmas cards and sent the packages that go to out of town friends. I plan on relaxing this week and having fun with Chris who just got home today. Tonight we are going to watch Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin. If you haven't seen it you must. It's a kooky take on a group of misfits at Christmas. Hilarious. It's an annual must, just like Christmas Vacation. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqgoMaHUppQiM7ThPVSXlDn4pnDNN1SB-Yf_iSXHl2QZilhjOcFt54upn-DBzuMw2nzwNt9_CCtGUCzfPfGaxGfDCR7IaTZRpvyCqHtLSe0Pky04P14TjzKLb8RIWnVeXN8hbbYryoY-0/s1600/las+vegas+015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqgoMaHUppQiM7ThPVSXlDn4pnDNN1SB-Yf_iSXHl2QZilhjOcFt54upn-DBzuMw2nzwNt9_CCtGUCzfPfGaxGfDCR7IaTZRpvyCqHtLSe0Pky04P14TjzKLb8RIWnVeXN8hbbYryoY-0/s320/las+vegas+015.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqIPZZTEGMzHdZeu1MIFukE3kjqHLvqVuikmCEUvcdLlFW-gfz2pHLgAuTVNgRd08fKmO_fMKNdhG9Pr-SPE7T1vexivE6S6Y4yERQieUaiDJkYYgsaGo8Il46bfWYLHDlUMwerUHGqg/s1600/las+vegas+045.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSqIPZZTEGMzHdZeu1MIFukE3kjqHLvqVuikmCEUvcdLlFW-gfz2pHLgAuTVNgRd08fKmO_fMKNdhG9Pr-SPE7T1vexivE6S6Y4yERQieUaiDJkYYgsaGo8Il46bfWYLHDlUMwerUHGqg/s320/las+vegas+045.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG6iRgAdadSQhUW_2oLCBB1p7toaKODBudzYSLVIdZttx8FKwVrraIO2NR89APfeiyFxnWtdD5gmXXXvUJRNtmMJDFx_DE2ngEs7rjq-Hbj0Ov2yYsJmex8eT8C_-sKdwekbeOUG_TPow/s1600/las+vegas+046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG6iRgAdadSQhUW_2oLCBB1p7toaKODBudzYSLVIdZttx8FKwVrraIO2NR89APfeiyFxnWtdD5gmXXXvUJRNtmMJDFx_DE2ngEs7rjq-Hbj0Ov2yYsJmex8eT8C_-sKdwekbeOUG_TPow/s320/las+vegas+046.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>I hope your week before Christmas is calm and wonderful and the you allow yourself to focus on the true meaning of the holiday.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-85990290668286739032010-11-24T11:07:00.000-07:002010-11-24T11:07:09.666-07:00Getting Ready for ThanksgivingI am not a big fan of Thanksgiving. I large meal followed by a lot of clean-up. I neither like to cook nor like to do dishes. I prize myself on not having used my oven or my range since I moved in 2 months ago. <br />
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But this year I am looking forward to it. Chris arrived home Saturday and Andrew and Sabrina are coming in tonight. My cooking responsibilities are minimal. Pies and stuffing from a box (the only kind Andrew will eat). Oh, and I have the Pillsbury crescent rolls at the ready. I pick up the Turkey from Boston Market today, along with some festive cupcakes from Gigi's for the non-pie eaters. I have a little bit of cleaning to do. The yard guys are putting on the finishing touches on the mulch they are laying. A few tentative snowflakes are falling. <br />
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Tomorrow we will celebrate all of us being together. 6 people, a family reunion. And we will give Thanks to God.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-6327797671338554532010-11-22T16:19:00.000-07:002010-11-22T16:19:51.943-07:00The Second AnniversarySaturday November 20 was the second anniversary of Tom's resurrection to heaven. Anniversary's are an unusual time. Hard to know how exactly to handle it. Last year the boys and I took a brief trip. It was wonderful and healing. I toyed around with the idea of a trip this year too, but veternarian bills for the pugs stole my vacation money. So I knew we would be staying home. Chris came home because he has the whole week off for Thanksgiving. <br />
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I couldn't decide whether to spend the day away nearby by myelf, or just treat it like an ordinary day. I chose to see what I felt like that morning. The 19th is harder in some ways because that is the day of the accident and the night we spent in the ICU. But I worked Friday and had a long lovely day with patients and the day drifted by without too many memories. <br />
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Saturday I had the luxury of sleeping in. So by the time I got up and did my usual slow morning routine, I decided I was up for an ordinary day. Ordinary days in marriage are what make a marriage wonderful. Spending time together with no real agenda. Going to the store, gathering the makings of meals together is a lovely thing. Getting your husband to carrying in your groceries, even better. So off to the grocery store I went. It wasn't busy and I just milled around the aisles. Very enjoyable. I returned home to find Chris had arrived and he helped me with the groceries. We both decided to relax before going out to dinner, and be both fell asleep for a while. We woke refrreshed and went off to dine at Undici's, since my lovely realtor Jan Melody gave me a gift card to it. We had a delicious meal with excellent service, toasted Tom and caught up on the happenings of our lives, college, work, the new home. <br />
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The funniest thing happened when we were ready to leave, our waiter seemed to want to shake hands, so I offered mine and he bent down and kissed me softly on the cheek. I quickly knew it was a kiss and a touch from Tom. He blessed my day and enjoyed the ordinariness of it. Since the worst thing about widowhood is the lack of meaningful touch and sweet kisses, I will treasure that gentle act. <br />
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I am doing so well after two years. Sad at times, angry even less, I now have settled into holding precious images of Tom through the years, especially his talent of making me laugh. It was a joy to know him. A gift I will always have. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJwWMBtmyfg2F8XtddqImm0YYwCbeoJiuue46cpxY5rLQOnlR7q99ByuwEphq20LzjZIKcDy0dnLGQJq6TuubYeHT4sTlfao4vO1Pb4j_KNT1tu_iiCiWEzIp242O6NCklbxGTt230B4/s1600/tomandtheboys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKJwWMBtmyfg2F8XtddqImm0YYwCbeoJiuue46cpxY5rLQOnlR7q99ByuwEphq20LzjZIKcDy0dnLGQJq6TuubYeHT4sTlfao4vO1Pb4j_KNT1tu_iiCiWEzIp242O6NCklbxGTt230B4/s320/tomandtheboys.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-37672910292748336512010-11-20T13:21:00.000-07:002010-11-20T13:21:46.454-07:00I'm backHello to all my friends. Never would I have thought that moving and getting settled would be so arduous and prolonged. Here's why. I did it alone. I was working full time. All the other times I moved, I had at least a few weeks off or wasn't working at all. And Tom was around to help. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">But now I feel like I am at home and loving my new place. Her are a few pictures from my moving experience. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZcDGGxBO6_VOzgi3ZG7O5UhxLOy4uGJ76oDwdr2HC1yb9TfVX9C0ogUQ_NnO1JZGxc9qEFtU8_rxIjw8wdNg8tAAa8tUa4u6BU_FIrtmfv-Kv2c4e9Xqu_9QyZhticAw8HgbDLoGLmz0/s1600/012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZcDGGxBO6_VOzgi3ZG7O5UhxLOy4uGJ76oDwdr2HC1yb9TfVX9C0ogUQ_NnO1JZGxc9qEFtU8_rxIjw8wdNg8tAAa8tUa4u6BU_FIrtmfv-Kv2c4e9Xqu_9QyZhticAw8HgbDLoGLmz0/s320/012.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">The boxes are all unpacked, the guestroom is newly painted and most light fixtures have been replaced. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">Here's a tip - NEVER use College Hunks Hauling Junk and Moving. What an overpriced nightmare. In the past I have used All My Sons Movers and should have this time. I chose College Hunks because I had a lot of furniture I wasn't taking with me and wanted to give it to Goodwill. College Hunks said they would take my unwanted things to Goodwill and then move my stuff to my new house 2 miles away. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">First, they didn't send hunks nor college students. Even though the young men were nice, they were college drop outs and had about as much muscle as me. It took them 12 HOURS. Secondly, the truck is too small. It is about the size of medium size step van. I lost count of the trips they made. Third, these two weaklings carried one box out to the truck and then into my house one at a time. I don't think they knew how use a dolly. Finally, half of my wood furniture is scratched or chipped. One end table will have to be replaced. And they brought in my beds and didn't even set them up. So at 10pm I had to put my own bed together just so I could sleep. I have written to the company to complain and ask for a partial refund. They were just a disaster. </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">But that's over and I am completely happy. I have gotten rid of so much stuff and that is a very freeing experience. Now everything has its place and it's fairly easy to keep things tidy, which I am fussy about. The dogs love the yard and spend hours outside snooping around. I believe Rascal is convinced she will find that cat who lived here previously. I am having lots of fun. And it's so quiet. Till the boys come home this week. More on that later. </div>Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-58193468313975003622010-09-15T15:24:00.001-06:002010-09-15T15:25:49.765-06:00I am a home owner!It's official - I am now a home owner. I closed on my house today. I signed my life away, it seems and agreed to pay for the next 30 years. What a concept. <br />
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I am very excited and eager to move. I will begin to move things this weekend. Chris is coming to help. Yeah Chris!!!!!. Furniture is being delivered Sunday and the dog door is installed Monday. Then once we have a place to sit, the movers will come on Tuesday morning. It will be interesting to see what the pups think of the change. At least I don't have carpeting anymore in case they get confused and decide to pee on the floor instead of making the effort to search for the dog door. There had been a cat living at the house so it will be fun to watch Rascal spend the rest of her life searching for that cat. Rascal LOVES cats. I think the dogs will love the bigger back yard. Not that the pugs fetch anything ever, it will be fun to try to get them to run around a bit. <br />
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The lovely plantings the former owners have in the backyard have been fairly well neglected since the sale and since I have no green thumb, they will have to go. Till I can get to it though, Rascal will feel like she is in Jungle heaven. <br />
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All the things I have been putting off for so long, like replacing my 20 year old TV and new furniture will come to fruition. I am upgrading to blu ray disc and the machine has the option of playing Vudu, which is kind of like netflix but all digital and instead of membership, you only pay for what you watch. <br />
I can't wait to get in the house and start measuring. I love being organized so I am eager to see what kind of fun things I get for the kitchen drawers and closets. Without a basement I will have to be creative, (though there is storage in the garage). <br />
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I am going to paint the front door a light turquoise and get new outdoor lighting. I have already picked out some lovely fixtures. <br />
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Change is good. I have always enjoyed change. The fun part is putting my own touch on this home. I will be updating you with pictures. <br />
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Have a beautiful day.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-37598062641026978362010-09-08T20:50:00.000-06:002010-09-08T20:50:28.119-06:00How's that meditation going?Well, so far I believe I have meditated one minute. It's not that I struggle with it so much as I don't make time for it. And the reason I don't make time for it is because I am afraid of what I might hear God say. I have no bad experience of meditation. God has never told me anything scary. In fact, mostly what I recieve from God is comfort. But comfort for me is not something I get used to easily. I am so much harder on myself than God is. Yet I spend so much more time with my little computer of a brain going over and over the most ridiculous things, like plans and fears and past regrets. <br />
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I have really been spending a lot of time in the past these days. Ruminating over past hurts. Were I to spend more time meditating, God would heal all those hurts. So what am I afraid of?<br />
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I don't honestly know. Except that the few minutes I have spend in God's amazing presence are so powerful and intense, that I get overwhelmed. Sometimes I just have to spend days living that experience and talking it over with God before I can have another meditative session. Often, I spend months absorbing the experience. I spend my days as if a waterfall is slowly pouring over me, washing the concepts of comfort, forgiveness, healing, grace.....in me and through me.<br />
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You would think I would get saturated with all God's goodness and live it out in my daily life. Yet time and time again I fail and fall back in to my old worrying routine. So I spend another minute meditating and the cycle starts all over again. <br />
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I would like to meditate more regularly so don't have these big lapses. So I could be immersed in God's gifts. But I am afraid of what I might hear, and what I might be called to. I am not ready to relinquish the life I know for the life that could be. <br />
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So I meditate, one minute at a time.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7837856425110154990.post-59195870178452627692010-09-06T19:10:00.000-06:002010-09-06T19:10:46.474-06:00Happy Labor DayI hope your holiday was happy and that you actually had a three day weekend. For those who toiled today, I hope it wasn't too bad. And if it was awful, I wish you peace. <br />
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I always wanted work that was fulfilling and was fun. You know that saying that says something to the effect of work that brings joy not being work at all? I do not have that kind of work. I do not like my work in fact. I often think that I mis-heard God when I thought he said, come be a doctor. I think I should have been a computer engineer or something that doesn't involve talking to people. That part of the job is exhausting for this introvert. It just sucks the energy right out of me. <br />
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The practice I have now is not how I pictured it would be 30 years ago. Patients have changed, they seem to be more demanding. It's not as financially successful as I had hoped. And it is very, very tiring. My days are stressful in that each day is usually booked pretty full, but I know there will still be add ons. I hate interruptions, and there are many. <br />
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Don't get me wrong, most of my patients are lovely people and many are grateful. I enjoy being able to help someone feel well or walk their journey to the end of life with them. I am glad to be able to make a living. <br />
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I think the reason I don't like my work is that I never feel well. If I weren't broken, dealing with pain and fatigue most of the time, I think I would like it more. I would have more energy ( I used to), and would get excited about what each day would bring. But being exhausted most of the time makes me less able to tolerate the stress and pressure. <br />
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I know that what I really need to be happy at work is to accept myself for what I am. Not try to be what I was when I had energy. Not try to be perfect as others imagine me. I need to accept scaling back, allowimits limits where they are needed. Most days I do. <br />
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The thing that works best for me is to take it one day at a time. Instead I tend to anticipate future problems that may never occur. When I am able to allow each day to flow on its own without me trying to control it, things go better. Why is it so hard to be present to the moment then? I guess because I am a control freak. <br />
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So here is my pledge to take it a day at a time, live in the present. I am going to start now. <br />
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So far so good.<br />
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I read today that meditation helps. In <u>Praying Naked</u> ,essays from Anthony de Mello, SJ, meditation is proposed as a way to connect to yourself and God so that nothing else matters in the day. That sounds good to me. <br />
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I will leave you with a little story from <u>Taking Flight</u> by de Mello: <br />
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The Master was in an expansive mood, so his disciples sought to learn from him the stages he had passed through in his quest for the divine. <br />
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"God first led me by the had," he daid, "into the Land of Action, and there I dwelt for several years. Then He returned and led me to the Land of Sorrows; there I lived until my heart was purged of every inordinate attachment. That is when I found myself in the Land of Love, whose burning flames consumed whatever was left in me of self. This brought me to the Land of Silence, where the mysteries of life and death were bared before my wondering eyes."<br />
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"Was that the final stage of your quest?" they asked.<br />
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"No," the Master said. "One day God said, "Today I shall take you to the inermost sanctuary of the Temple, to the heart of God himself." And I was led to the Land of Laughter."<br />
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Isn't that wonderful. Right now I am somewhere between the Lands of Love and Silence. I yearn to be Laughing.Nanc' Hooymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17687335667477164458noreply@blogger.com0