Finding the right path

I awake each morning and try to find a path.  It seems each morning I re-invent myself.  During the summer I would awake leisurely and read and think and contemplate God and try to be thankful for the day to come.  Once up, I got going on whatever it was I wanted to do, even if it was as simple as going to the pool. 

Now that I am back to work, the only way I can function is to get up without thinking and put myself on automatic to do the morning ritual of ablations and costuming.  I feed the pups and myself, check email, make sure my patient list is up to date, take care of little details and make a K-cup of a sweet beverage for the road. I put on my happy face and go.

Every day I am pretty much the same person.  But every day I feel I am on a new path for some reason. Perhaps because I never know what I am going to encounter during the day.  There always seem to be detours thrown in my otherwise straight path.  Interruptions, inconveniences, delays about.  These surprises are rarely the fun kind. 

Somehow during this summer of leisure, though I never mastered meditating, I did learn how to live each moment and take one day at a time.  I guess instead of trying to live my grand plan I think I have designed for myself, I allow the day to unfold.  I do one thing at a time and do it the best I can and then move on. I try not to judge it or myself, I try to just play the doctor role.

I guess that is why I feel each morning is a blank slate and why I feel the need to find the path.  I need only define myself as a daughter of God, held and loved by God, strengthened and supported by God.  Letting go of a grand plan and following a new path each day is quite hard for me.  But trying daily to create my grand plan hasn’t worked for me in the past, so allowing the unknown in to surprise me, might just be the way to peace and happiness.  I am happy so far with my new career.

Think less, be more.  Judge less, experience more.  I can feel my shoulders relax just knowing this.  Thanks be to the good and gracious God.